Waiting to be found

Eleven years ago, I left my husband. I left for a lot of reasons, all of them were to better myself and my children. My biggest fear then was being alone. But I realized then that I was lonely while living with a man who clearly didn't love me. And what kind of life is that? I'd rather be alone. And so, I have been.
And while I've been alone, I've been working on me. Working on figuring out who I am I after all of these years of adjusting myself to fit whatever I thought some man wanted.... And never fitting. Working on figuring out what I want out of life, out of love... What is love even ... for me?
But let me tell you, relationships after 45 are not easy. I knew it was going to be tough when I closed the door eleven years ago, I just didn't know that once I raised my standards, I'd find so few who would even attempt to cross the bar. I never would have guessed in my mid thirties that in my late forties, men would be expecting to simply fuck me. Even though I choose to cover. Yeah, I wear a headwrap daily. That, at this stage in my life, with my intelligence, my passion, my conversation... No man, in person approaches me with any interest in getting to know me. None approach in person. Some still slide in the DM with suggestive pics of what they'd like to do... Sigh...
So, 49 and waiting...